Putting things in perspective

Anyone who knows me well knows I hate putting things in perspective. I want to believe everything around me is THE WORST. But secretly I do know this is shallow and ridiculous. I know I am a Debbie Downer and lead a charmed life (not like Beyonce or anything, but I do okay) for the most part.

For months, I’ve followed the story of sweet Tripp Roth and his amazing mother, Courtney. I did not know them personally, but their story touched me beyond belief. I first read about them when I was going through an extremely rough time in my life, trying to overcome this horrible postpartum depression. I would cry as I read her entries and then relay them to David, telling him I didn’t know if I could ever handle things like Courtney did. To me, she was the best mother ever. And I probably needed to read her story at this time in my life. Because as sad as her story made me, it made me want to be a better mother. It made me want to be happy for the sake of my little boy. And a few months ago, I sent her an email telling her as much. She is truly inspiring.

I read the news about Tripp’s death right after I had gone into Brandon’s room and changed his diaper while he was sleeping. Brandon has had a horrible diaper rash ever since he started his antibiotics for an ear infection, so I’ve been changing him in the middle of the night and reapplying his diaper rash cream. It has broken my heart to see Brandon hurting from the rash on his little bottom. From the time I lifted him out of his crib and changed him, maybe two minutes elapsed. Before I returned him to his crib, I cuddled and rocked him a bit. Total time spent in his room: maybe five minutes. Courtney Roth rocked her baby all day, every day, because it was the only thing that soothed him. And Courtney had to see her baby boy in pain constantly from the sores covering his little body. Again, I cannot express how much I feel for this woman who I have never met. Her story helped me and will continue to help me as I raise my son. I realize every moment is precious and I also realize how lucky I am to have a healthy little boy.

Rest in peace, sweet Tripp.



January 15, 2012. Uncategorized.

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